Gutter Guards and Screens

Gutter Guards and Screens

A good part of the last 25 years i have been explaining to the average person what is wrong with their house and how to fix it.  Their are  many people with   different ways of understanding things, making it hard to have one format to explain a topic.  This information is rare, I am a true life gutter cleaner. I am not a writer, I do not make youtube videos for money and view numbers.  I am not sponsored by anyone.  Most guys like me never publish their information.  My goal is to try and educate people about gutter screening without having to talk so much.  Most people simply can not follow the information I give.  So, what follows is the best, most honest information I specifically know about ways to keep the leaves out of gutters.
 
Lets begin with me asking you to lower your guard, I am not trying to sell you anything, this is my attempt of not  repeating myself ten times a day.  Also, for discussion sake, please assume I have learned a little something about cleaning gutters over the last 25 years.   My wife tells me I talk about gutter guards in my sleep.  Some  important things to consider when making a purchase for your house is ROI, aka return on investment.  With all of the big brand gutter systems, the ones on television, it will take 20 years to pay off compared to having a basic annual gutter cleaning.  Two more major point, if you want gutter guards simply because you do not want to ever clean your gutters again.  That is impossible, and you should probably stop reading right now.  Number two – NEVER EVER under any circumstance permit a roofer  to install, or reinstall any type of gutter protection system. The word about these gutter protection systems is out.  After a long run people are understanding the problems with these systems.  Sometimes people have no choice but to install screening.  
Question:  My neighbor spent a their kids college fund and had the gutter guards installed, they can not say enough good about them.  The salesman told them they will never need to clean their gutters again.
Answer: Right I remember your neighbors , nice people, they called  to thank me for all my years of wonderful service.  It felt like we were breaking up.  Like all bad break ups, people many times seem to get back together again.  Your neighbors had a very large house, I charged them $200 dollars for a once a year cleaning.  They paid over 20,000 dollars for that gutter system.  At 200 dollars a year, how long do you think it will take to spend 20,000 bucks.  Answer, a really long time.  I blame the salesman, they have this fancy display where they dump dried parsley over the top of the gutter guard with a garden hose running.  Sorry, that is not real world conditions.
Question:  My house is located in the middle of many old large trees, as is my neighbor’s house.  I also have a huge oak directly over my house that drops 1000’s of pounds of acorns every year.  What type of screening works for large oaks.
  Answer:  Forgive me if I appear defensive,  yes, you absolutely will need  screens.  Something to keep massive amounts of debris out, while still letting the water in.  You will need to have your roof blown off and your corners and valleys cleared.  I will need to run water  through to get the small stuff.  We are making the best out of a bad situation.  I will have to see your house.
  Questions:  I bought top rated gutter screens, 5 star review, over 300 reviews.  People say they are the best, will you install them for me, please?  I have come to trust amazon reviews.  
  Answer: Amazon reviews, HA, verified purchase, HAHA  Do not trust Amazon reviews, amazon sellers will purchase one gutter screen and mail it to  random persons just so the gutter screening company can leave fake reviews.  Repeat the following statement- nothing is sacred anymore.  No, I will not install them, as soon as you have a problem you will call me.  Every caution and disclaimer I gave you will have been forgotten.  You will remember two things, you paid me money to install those screens, and the other thing, they are not working according to the reviews.
Question:  We had gutter guards installed about three years ago, now, when it rains the gutters in the back overflow.  How could that be, they have a no clog guarantee.  We called the company and the number was no longer in service.  
  Answer:  I have no idea, I have never heard of something like this happening before.  If I was to make an educated guess, I would say a fool and his money have parted ways.  On a more serious note, I get calls like that by the hundreds.  I believe it is a subtle form of mind control these salesman are using on people.  People believe every word these salesman tell them.  Your gutter protection system has failed.  
Question:  We have short needle pine trees fairly close to the house  our  gutters keep clogging up from those needles can you help us?
  Answer:   Those  pines and the ash tree are an unstoppable force.  Every screen will fail.  Nothing works, no the micromesh do not work, the foam garbage, the brush, nothing works, only open gutters.  
Questions: What can we do about leaves in our gutters?
Answer: clean them regularly.
Question:  For three years in a row everything freezes and it snows before the leaves even fall.  The leaves are falling so late in the year every fall.  Now we are getting ice dams and damage to our roof.  Certainly you have a solution?
  
Answer:  I feel your pain, that is lost money for me too, and it is getting worse each year.  I wish you would have  asked me this sooner. No way are people going to read this far down the list. Yes, you need screens.  Having cleaned your gutters before I recommend the cheap ones, 3 dollars a foot, average house about 600 bucks.  Yes that is right, I am able to screen a whole house for 600 dollars, no I did not forget a zero.  No the screens are not complete junk.  Made in Euclid ,Ohio.  
Question:  We had the biggest, best, most overpriced company come out for a “free estimate”  on having our roof vented and insulation added.  The main reason was all the ice dams we were getting.  The salesman had stacks of three ring binders, so we know he was official.  They added all sorts of power vents and insulation and we still get ice dams.  Please help us
Answer:  I remember you, I told you before, your gutter guards are called high profile, that thin metal sits high above  the gutter and is very cold, these are a formula for the longest most massive icicles I have ever seen.  Nothing should  sits above the gutter, please.  Ever see the sign that says bridge freezes before road?  Well I should make stickers that says high profile gutter guards  freeze before the roof.  They added heating elements to that design, they are outrageously expensive and often fail.  Just this year they started selling low profile gutter guards.  Old wine, new bottles.  That is to say, exactly the same thing, they just put a new name on them
Question:  We know your game gutter man,  you hate screens because once I get them you are out of a job.  I was born at night, but not last night.
Answer:  I wish that were true, your house went from easy to clean too- i hope he does not call again this year type of house.  All the leaves fall at the same time, it is like shooting fish in a barrel, I turn down 1000’s of jobs a year because we do not trust hiring new people on our crews.
Question:  You made a point to tell me something about screening and when I pulled in the driveway i saw you did exactly the opposite of what you explained to me.  You seemed like such an honest hard working guy, what gives?
  Answer:  I remember you, the guy that cleaned the gutters himself now you hurt your knee and your wife does not want you up there.  Sorry their was a miss communication.  I spent a year teaching English as a foreign language and the thing I hate about English is all the exceptions  to the rule.  The only way for a non native speaker to learn them is to remember them.  Those rules are a pain in my side.  The same with that screening, there are exceptions and I can not take to much time explaining every little detail of a job.  And honestly, mostly people do not care as long as their gutters drain when it rains, all is good.  I can see you still are not happy with the answer, okay.  Why did I cut a corner right in front of where you park your truck.  That will be the first thing you see when you pulled up?  I told you the screens were junk and all needed to come off.  So the end of the gutter still had screens on there.  You paid for removal and there were still five screens on.  I am just lazy, I could not bare one more minute of work?  No, those screens were blocking the pine needles from clogging the gutters.  Yes, they were blocking the water as well, but the water was going to hit the drive and drain away from the house.  Just trust my judgement.
Question:  We are having a small party this weekend would you care to stop by?
Answer:  Sure, I do get very busy in the summer so I would not be able to stay long.  Also, I may have to cancel.  Winter get togethers work much better for me.
Question:  Were these actual customers that asked the questions?
  
Answer:  No, I made all these questions up, I am asking and answering.  All question are based on  a true story.
Question:  We asked our roofer about gutter screens and he said it will void the warranty on our roof.  Is he being honest?
Answer:  Yes, some roofers know the truth about gutter screens as well.  Roofer see first hand the rotten wood and damaged shingles from the gutter guards
Question:  We signed a contract with you to have the gutters screening  installed.  Everything was very specific and we appreciate that. Our big question is what sort of clown is going to come install them.  We signed contracts in the past with people, only to have the job sold to other companies, one time our contract was sold 4 different times.  The guy leaked oil all over my new driveway, and was generally hard to deal with.
 Answer:  Sounds like Sears, yes Sears, not the company they once were.  They rip off the elderly at an alarming rate, elderly trust the name.  I will be cleaning and installing every screen, and I will do a great job. Screens must be installed properly, their are so many little tricks to getting them to function properly, it is hard to find someone qualified. 
Question:  Why not take the easy way out?  Did you ever consider just selling gutter guard systems?
Answer:  NO.  I get job offers I know I could make over 100,000 dollars a year selling these systems.  My life is very hard, I have an intimate understanding of failure, hopelessness, pain and suffering of every known type.  I hate to see people miss treated.  People are important, each and everyone of of them.  I will stick to the mission.  I will uphold my honestly and strong work ethic.  I never took the easy way raising my kids.  I am not cleaning gutters for the glory.  I will do  what is right, even if they do not understand.
Question:  We just bought our house and the gutters are pouring over.  We had a handyman out, he told us the roofers had nailed through the roof into the screening and the screening can not be removed.  Gave gave us a card for a good lawyer ,told us our best option is to sue. 
  Answer:  Yes, I can get the screens off.  I will need to remove all the gutters and the first four layers of shingles, install ice guard, and shingle the bottom four rows again.  Might as well install new gutters as well.  On your house it will cost 6500 dollars.  Personally, call that lawyer and sue the previous seller.  NEVER EVER EVER let a roofer install gutter screens, NEVER NEVER NEVER..EVER, no matter what the circumstance. 

Question: So I am confused, do you sell gutter screens?

Answer:  Yes, a select few types. These are professional grade, not something from the big box stores.
Question:My grandfather designed a gutter screening system, will you test it for him?
Answer:  NO,  Your grandfather is very interesting to talk to, he really knows North Royalton history.  I love hearing his stories about contracting jobs gone bad.  Your grandfather’s handyman installed some of those screens from the big box store.  They are awful and your grandfather wants me to modify them so they work.  I would have a hundred hours drilling all those holes and what not.  I can not help, sorry.
Question:  I stopped by your house to pay you, I noticed your whole house was screened.  Your secret is out.  You told me that screens suck.  Why do you have screens?
Answer: I still clean my gutters 6 times a year, the key is I keep up on the cleanings

OUR SERVICES

SINCE 2001

Gutter Cleaning

This service begins with a full evaluation of the whole house, including the yard. Notes are made of any current or future problems you, as a homeowner may encounter.

Gutter Repair

Loose screws, sealing any detected leaks. Test gutters for proper slope so that they will drain properly. Check gutters for proper hanging height, repairing as necessary.

Gutter Guards

Gutter debris protection system. Gutter guards will keep your gutters clean, between cleaning.

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